Saturday, November 13, 2004
I don't really remember much about the rest of the week, after Tuesday, that is, being that it was my last post...ummm...I worked and did school and wasted a lot of time. I wasted more time this week than I ever have before. It's not good. Not good at all. Only tonight, Saturday night, am I making use of my time by working on a research paper. I guess it's because I have been kind of stressed out lately. Not just about school, but about my best friend. and when I'm stressed out, I tend to pull away from things I need to get done and spend more time sleeping. I guess it's my way of dealing with it...by not dealing with it.
My best friend has had it. Finishing the year isn't even worth it. He has been stressed out beyond belief and he is unregistering from all his courses and he is heading home during xmas break and not coming back. So, we are ending our lease (thank goodness it is month-to-month this year) and moving everything back home after 1st term. Problem? Where the hell do I live. Luckily, he is going to take my dog with him for 2nd term (we're from hte same town) and I emailed about open space in every single rez on campus, basically. Looks like I have a good shot at a few of them. Vic or Loretto. But it sounds like there isn't even a waiting list for Loretto and she is going to give me a single room for January! sweet! how about that. I tried to look on the bright side of things. I didn't have the chance to do the rez thing before, so now I can sort of have that. And it's only 4 months, so I won't have that much time to become annoyed if I do. I just feel so weird about it, though. I've never been in Toronto before without Rob...the worst part is, is that the rez is near the first place we lived back in my first year. Old memories keep resurfacing. Even though we've had a lot of ups and downs together in our 2.5 years here, they were some great memories. I'll really miss having more memories here together next term. :(
It will be so weird being alone here for the first time. I won't even have my doggie to comfort me! No fat squishy black lab trying to take up all the room on my bed. Sniff.
Just me alone in a small room in a residence.
But..on the bright side??...well....I'll have more time to myself to be serious with my work. Since this IS my last year here at U of T (remember, finishing my last year on exchange at Western next year so I can live at home since I'm done my specialist basically, after this year). And 4 months without doggie responsibilities could be nice. Maybe I could even boost my GPA up by a lot!
Still, it won't be the same. Studying at the library all the time by myself, coming home after a day of classes and etc to have dinner alone without my best friend, the person you always wanted to unload your crazy day on...walking the campus by myself every day...knowing that he will never be here for the rest of the year to walk with or talk with...seeing our hang out spots or places of particular memories....I don't even think I could study at our favourite table in Robarts!! :-0 or maybe I would..bah!!! I just hate this weird feeling I know I'm gonna have. It's such a sad weird feeling. Maybe we spent too much time together but I never saw that as a bad thing. We are such an incredible support system to each other. When he isn't here, I feel really alone. I guess we're practically like family. So I'll miss him, and I'll miss my dog too. He says he will miss me too, and I know if I asked him, he'd stay--but then what kind of friend would I be?!?! hahaha. This is not the right place for him and he needs to go home to sort things out and what program of school he wants to try next.
I've still yet to tell my parents about all of this, though...but I'm not going to, until I have confirmed my place in a residence hall. Otherwise, they will just start to freak out! haha.
anyway, I think I fiddled with my research paper's outline enough for tonight, I think I'm going to spend a few hours prior to going to bed with some hebrew translations.
night.
My best friend has had it. Finishing the year isn't even worth it. He has been stressed out beyond belief and he is unregistering from all his courses and he is heading home during xmas break and not coming back. So, we are ending our lease (thank goodness it is month-to-month this year) and moving everything back home after 1st term. Problem? Where the hell do I live. Luckily, he is going to take my dog with him for 2nd term (we're from hte same town) and I emailed about open space in every single rez on campus, basically. Looks like I have a good shot at a few of them. Vic or Loretto. But it sounds like there isn't even a waiting list for Loretto and she is going to give me a single room for January! sweet! how about that. I tried to look on the bright side of things. I didn't have the chance to do the rez thing before, so now I can sort of have that. And it's only 4 months, so I won't have that much time to become annoyed if I do. I just feel so weird about it, though. I've never been in Toronto before without Rob...the worst part is, is that the rez is near the first place we lived back in my first year. Old memories keep resurfacing. Even though we've had a lot of ups and downs together in our 2.5 years here, they were some great memories. I'll really miss having more memories here together next term. :(
It will be so weird being alone here for the first time. I won't even have my doggie to comfort me! No fat squishy black lab trying to take up all the room on my bed. Sniff.
Just me alone in a small room in a residence.
But..on the bright side??...well....I'll have more time to myself to be serious with my work. Since this IS my last year here at U of T (remember, finishing my last year on exchange at Western next year so I can live at home since I'm done my specialist basically, after this year). And 4 months without doggie responsibilities could be nice. Maybe I could even boost my GPA up by a lot!
Still, it won't be the same. Studying at the library all the time by myself, coming home after a day of classes and etc to have dinner alone without my best friend, the person you always wanted to unload your crazy day on...walking the campus by myself every day...knowing that he will never be here for the rest of the year to walk with or talk with...seeing our hang out spots or places of particular memories....I don't even think I could study at our favourite table in Robarts!! :-0 or maybe I would..bah!!! I just hate this weird feeling I know I'm gonna have. It's such a sad weird feeling. Maybe we spent too much time together but I never saw that as a bad thing. We are such an incredible support system to each other. When he isn't here, I feel really alone. I guess we're practically like family. So I'll miss him, and I'll miss my dog too. He says he will miss me too, and I know if I asked him, he'd stay--but then what kind of friend would I be?!?! hahaha. This is not the right place for him and he needs to go home to sort things out and what program of school he wants to try next.
I've still yet to tell my parents about all of this, though...but I'm not going to, until I have confirmed my place in a residence hall. Otherwise, they will just start to freak out! haha.
anyway, I think I fiddled with my research paper's outline enough for tonight, I think I'm going to spend a few hours prior to going to bed with some hebrew translations.
night.
