Wednesday, November 23, 2005
And the plot thickens every day, and the pieces of my puzzle keep falling away
Clearly I'm updating my blog to avoid my work.
I'm avoiding it because I'm feeling really run down tonight for some reason. And damnit, I've only just started my semi-allnighter weekathon!!
This weekend I got very little done. This seems to be a reaccuring theme for weekends. According to rez-mates, it plagues them too. Honestly, I can't even remember why I didn't get much done or what happened. I think I slept a lot, which would make sense in that I was likely in need of catching up on sleep from the week prior. I shouldn't even use the word allnighter or semi-allnighter here because it, in my mind, denotes a periodic occurance that crops up here and there with the general student populace of other schools. Yes, that is what the allnighter is. But at U of T, it's a way of life. Going to bed between 2:30-4:30am every night and getting up at 8am is just a fact of life here these days. Monday-Friday. I'm just that determined to do well this year.
On the down side of this tenacious display of enthusiasm for academia, is well...the down side...the running-down part. Just throw in that word "down" into the mix and you'll get what I mean. I hope I'm not getting sick, is all I hope! And the isolating tedium of it all...and the pressure...and the scariness of the world...blahh...I'm just so glad for my friends. If I had a boyfriend, which I don't thanks - I also hate that word, in other unrelated random news - I'd just fall asleep in a hug. ...Hm...that's the most emotionally revealing thing I've let slip in blog for a while. Well whatever, if you don't like it, then....there's the door. It's called the "LEAVE BUTTON".
Anyway, I guess if we're on the "personal" level here, for all those disturbingly smitten with my strange little life, I can well tell you that I'm doing alright. Actually, I am completely detached from any of that, and it's a good thing. Though if we can be cryptic here - no? Well I'll go ahead and indulge in my affinity for cryptic babble anyway - Though, I feel like I'm sitting vulnerable in a frigid northernly wind without a coat. And I had never needed a coat before. Because I had never went to sit outside in the bloody frigid cold before! And now I'm here. And anyone I see doesn't see me at all. And I'd go back inside but I've permanently lost my way.
Yep.
Okay wait, if you take that and conclude that "ah, she's waiting for someone to rescue her from the cold", I'll personally track you down and kick your ass. With steel toed dig boots.
How about a rant. I do so few of these.
Why do guys only like and pursue hot, capricious tinsel twits? It makes me never want to bother ( I'm referring above and beyond recent events - this is UNRELATED!! though naturally, I don't want to bother again due to that either but, hey! I'm happy with things - like untangled cords put away)
Anyway, so yeah, my best friend says that I have the cute-card. Even if that's true , what the hell is the point in that. (I won't get pathetic with self-confidence issues, we all have them to some degree...) But Honestly, in overview of the past few months - okay years - I have always been aware of how uncomfortable I am in most social settings being surrounded by well, 'matured-beautiful people'...which is funny because I can't get down to their cultural level sometimes, and yet I'm so much younger in every other aspect. It's strange, I don't mind it at all. I guess "I" fit myself, because I feel really young, happy, and lets be honest, if I said I wasn't the innocent sort I'm sure I'd be hearing from people....and I'd never want to change. I'm happy to be me. I don't know WHY, maybe the seretonin? :s But who cares. So then why do I get so freaking uncomfortable then? And how the hell does this relate to hot capricious tinsel twits? Alas, a tangent.
Oh well, sorry mateys
I know, this is not my usual self..but again...I lack the capacity to lie about anything, so I apologize that once stuff comes to my mind, you'll hear about it. Anyway, in conclusion, I'm going to duck back behind a book.
To save your eyes, I'll describe the rest of the week so far:
Just picture me, bleary eyed, tousle haired surrounded perpetually by a mountain of work. Or more defined, a paper entitled...roughly: FXJj50: Fluvial modifications of lithic and faunal assemblages in floodplain sites
Wow, I wasted the entire night.
babbling to you lot.
I'm avoiding it because I'm feeling really run down tonight for some reason. And damnit, I've only just started my semi-allnighter weekathon!!
This weekend I got very little done. This seems to be a reaccuring theme for weekends. According to rez-mates, it plagues them too. Honestly, I can't even remember why I didn't get much done or what happened. I think I slept a lot, which would make sense in that I was likely in need of catching up on sleep from the week prior. I shouldn't even use the word allnighter or semi-allnighter here because it, in my mind, denotes a periodic occurance that crops up here and there with the general student populace of other schools. Yes, that is what the allnighter is. But at U of T, it's a way of life. Going to bed between 2:30-4:30am every night and getting up at 8am is just a fact of life here these days. Monday-Friday. I'm just that determined to do well this year.
On the down side of this tenacious display of enthusiasm for academia, is well...the down side...the running-down part. Just throw in that word "down" into the mix and you'll get what I mean. I hope I'm not getting sick, is all I hope! And the isolating tedium of it all...and the pressure...and the scariness of the world...blahh...I'm just so glad for my friends. If I had a boyfriend, which I don't thanks - I also hate that word, in other unrelated random news - I'd just fall asleep in a hug. ...Hm...that's the most emotionally revealing thing I've let slip in blog for a while. Well whatever, if you don't like it, then....there's the door. It's called the "LEAVE BUTTON".
Anyway, I guess if we're on the "personal" level here, for all those disturbingly smitten with my strange little life, I can well tell you that I'm doing alright. Actually, I am completely detached from any of that, and it's a good thing. Though if we can be cryptic here - no? Well I'll go ahead and indulge in my affinity for cryptic babble anyway - Though, I feel like I'm sitting vulnerable in a frigid northernly wind without a coat. And I had never needed a coat before. Because I had never went to sit outside in the bloody frigid cold before! And now I'm here. And anyone I see doesn't see me at all. And I'd go back inside but I've permanently lost my way.
Yep.
Okay wait, if you take that and conclude that "ah, she's waiting for someone to rescue her from the cold", I'll personally track you down and kick your ass. With steel toed dig boots.
How about a rant. I do so few of these.
Why do guys only like and pursue hot, capricious tinsel twits? It makes me never want to bother ( I'm referring above and beyond recent events - this is UNRELATED!! though naturally, I don't want to bother again due to that either but, hey! I'm happy with things - like untangled cords put away)
Anyway, so yeah, my best friend says that I have the cute-card. Even if that's true , what the hell is the point in that. (I won't get pathetic with self-confidence issues, we all have them to some degree...) But Honestly, in overview of the past few months - okay years - I have always been aware of how uncomfortable I am in most social settings being surrounded by well, 'matured-beautiful people'...which is funny because I can't get down to their cultural level sometimes, and yet I'm so much younger in every other aspect. It's strange, I don't mind it at all. I guess "I" fit myself, because I feel really young, happy, and lets be honest, if I said I wasn't the innocent sort I'm sure I'd be hearing from people....and I'd never want to change. I'm happy to be me. I don't know WHY, maybe the seretonin? :s But who cares. So then why do I get so freaking uncomfortable then? And how the hell does this relate to hot capricious tinsel twits? Alas, a tangent.
Oh well, sorry mateys
I know, this is not my usual self..but again...I lack the capacity to lie about anything, so I apologize that once stuff comes to my mind, you'll hear about it. Anyway, in conclusion, I'm going to duck back behind a book.
To save your eyes, I'll describe the rest of the week so far:
Just picture me, bleary eyed, tousle haired surrounded perpetually by a mountain of work. Or more defined, a paper entitled...roughly: FXJj50: Fluvial modifications of lithic and faunal assemblages in floodplain sites
Wow, I wasted the entire night.
babbling to you lot.
