Friday, November 25, 2005
Fear is the mind killer
On Wednesday night, I saw Vic College's comedy show "The Bob" with Rachel and friend and Jordan - the rehersal. So it was only us four (and then 3 by half-point). It was really funny! It reminded me of Kids in the Hall, which is always a good thing. Though, I'm not gonna lie that some of it traumatized me. It's funny, I've been exposed to that sort of stuff my whole life (mostly unwillingly) and I'm still sensitive to it.
Yesterday, I dragged myself out of bed at 8ish after another 3:30am night. As I stumbled down for breakfast, I began to realize that my limit was fast approaching. I just knew before the day had even reached a close that I wasn't going to be able to do this anymore...the incredibly late nights and the incredibly early mornings... I don't mind them at all, but my system feels like it's getting really screwed up because of it. So, I tried to get in some archaeology lab reading with breakfast and then went to the fitness room soon after for an hour workout typical of my usual routine. Another problem: My muscles are feeling so tired lately. In fact, my calves sometimes seize up during the middle of the night and I have to stand up so the pain subsides. What the hell is that!! Following that, I frantically cleaned my room and noted that I'd soon be forced to do laundry, got ready and went down for a meagre lunch of toast, fruit and tea. Wait, meagre! For you! I happen to like toast!
The rest of the day consisted of me reading over the instructions for my lab, falling asleep in my new journal article (which is sad because I had been looking forward to it all week: Quaternary paleoenvironmental reconstruction of possible north american routes post-glaciation...), went down to ASA to drop off something, went to check in at one of my labs to find out when I'd be starting work (booya, volunteering in 2 archaeology labs now!) and then went back to ASA to read over the ARH312 past term test.
Wearily, I crossed campus in the biting cold wind that had developed through the day, with falling darkness on my back, and went for dinner. Anxiety was building in me. I didn't know why.
I tried to get work done in my room but I just couldn't seem to do much...I made headway on the last section of my fluvial processes paper and decided to leave the conclusion for a day that I was clear-headed and able to reflect on my work.
We had "tree-trimming" in the lobby that night and so I had to go downstairs to help set up for it. It was especially down there that I realized how off-keel I was starting to feel. I decided not to eat anything for the rest of the night as I usually do -besides being the taste tester for the cider -and waited until my help seemed unnessary before I dodged back upstairs to start on my lab. Well that went no where. I don't have a clue on how to use excel. dammit, I knew that would come back to haunt me!
I went to bed at 12:30 for the first time in a few weeks because I just could no longer stand it. I'm trying to clear my mind and regain some semblance of normality. I slept pretty well and was actually awoken from dream state by my alarm--which is actually shocking for me becasue I am always awake before my alarm goes off at 8.
I guess I needed the sleep. needless to say, I do in fact feel somewhat better today, though still somewhat in need of a few more hours of sleep.
Oh shit. It's 10am. I gotta get to my highland class for 10:30am.
oh jesus!!!!
Bye!!
Yesterday, I dragged myself out of bed at 8ish after another 3:30am night. As I stumbled down for breakfast, I began to realize that my limit was fast approaching. I just knew before the day had even reached a close that I wasn't going to be able to do this anymore...the incredibly late nights and the incredibly early mornings... I don't mind them at all, but my system feels like it's getting really screwed up because of it. So, I tried to get in some archaeology lab reading with breakfast and then went to the fitness room soon after for an hour workout typical of my usual routine. Another problem: My muscles are feeling so tired lately. In fact, my calves sometimes seize up during the middle of the night and I have to stand up so the pain subsides. What the hell is that!! Following that, I frantically cleaned my room and noted that I'd soon be forced to do laundry, got ready and went down for a meagre lunch of toast, fruit and tea. Wait, meagre! For you! I happen to like toast!
The rest of the day consisted of me reading over the instructions for my lab, falling asleep in my new journal article (which is sad because I had been looking forward to it all week: Quaternary paleoenvironmental reconstruction of possible north american routes post-glaciation...), went down to ASA to drop off something, went to check in at one of my labs to find out when I'd be starting work (booya, volunteering in 2 archaeology labs now!) and then went back to ASA to read over the ARH312 past term test.
Wearily, I crossed campus in the biting cold wind that had developed through the day, with falling darkness on my back, and went for dinner. Anxiety was building in me. I didn't know why.
I tried to get work done in my room but I just couldn't seem to do much...I made headway on the last section of my fluvial processes paper and decided to leave the conclusion for a day that I was clear-headed and able to reflect on my work.
We had "tree-trimming" in the lobby that night and so I had to go downstairs to help set up for it. It was especially down there that I realized how off-keel I was starting to feel. I decided not to eat anything for the rest of the night as I usually do -besides being the taste tester for the cider -and waited until my help seemed unnessary before I dodged back upstairs to start on my lab. Well that went no where. I don't have a clue on how to use excel. dammit, I knew that would come back to haunt me!
I went to bed at 12:30 for the first time in a few weeks because I just could no longer stand it. I'm trying to clear my mind and regain some semblance of normality. I slept pretty well and was actually awoken from dream state by my alarm--which is actually shocking for me becasue I am always awake before my alarm goes off at 8.
I guess I needed the sleep. needless to say, I do in fact feel somewhat better today, though still somewhat in need of a few more hours of sleep.
Oh shit. It's 10am. I gotta get to my highland class for 10:30am.
oh jesus!!!!
Bye!!
